I miss London.

Living on the doorstep of London last year is something that I thoroughly miss now, I want it back.

I am living at home whilst I do my NCTJ course which isn't a terrible thing BUT between a 15 Minute journey to Waterloo and an hour and a half journey to Victoria (If i'm lucky) I will always rather the former of the two.

Brighton is ok don't get me wrong, but London, beautiful, hug-like London. I can't on a whim go and see Polly Stenham's new play at the Royal Court now, I can't wonder around Highgate just because I wanted to go to a bookshop that sold Enid Blyton books. Oh! Oxford Street Topshop, The Pleasance in Islington, MY OWN FLAT. Take me back.

Anyway I am going to work my bottom off so I can move back there. The main problem with this is money, I need a job but I also feel like this course is only 14 weeks, I should just embrace it and throw yourself into everything I can.

This week we had a man from Johnston Press come and speak to us and an ex-editor of the Telegraph, both were equally as bonkers as the other. Interesting but a little bit scary.

The first took 5 minutes talking about his experiences with Rolls Royce and told us that Blogs weren't worth anything to potential employers. Which didn't surprise me AT ALL, blogs are very indulgent, not really worth much to anyone except yourself. I'll keep writing on it occasionally because EVENTUALLY I would like to blog like Esther Walker, whom I adore ... http://reciperifle.blogspot.co.uk/ 

The second came to speak to us about feature writing, something I am interested in, one of the many things. We all 'pitched' the ideas we had for the features we have to write for our portfolios; he didn't hold back if he didn't like something. Although I genuinely couldn't tell what he thought of mine, with the others he either said yes or no, mine, he said "Ok" then moved on...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

ANYWAY...In true stereotypical journalist style, we all went out last night, drinking (Of course). I cannot tell if I am proud or disgusted at myself for doing a vodka shot before drinking anything else but thats obviously what I do now...classy eh?

So today has been watching Breaking Bad whilst snoozing in a warm blanket.

Tomorrow is a shorthand day!

Do you know what journalism is?

"If you want to become a columnist at a prestigious newspaper, you must either be best friends with the editor or be able to give really good blow jobs to the right people"

Do you actually know what journalism is? I know it doesn't pay brilliantly, I know it is full of erratic hours, I even know that it's bloody hard work, but today opened everyones eyes that little bit more.

'Fleet Street Fox'...need I say more?

Her real name is Susie Boniface. This lady right here is a journalist; she is a proper fleet street drinking, cursing journalist and what was the first thing she said to us today? 

"The story comes first, the reader comes second and the journalist is nothing" 

There were about 40 people in this session and with this introduction the room was divided. You were either in the group that liked the no bullshit side to her and subsequently loved the rest of what she had to say OR you hated her from the moment she opened her mouth and then proceeded to ask everyone if they felt the same...

I thought she was brilliant, although apparently my blog is 'sweet' so I should probably say how much I hated her. She didn't sugar coat, she didn't need to as there is nothing to coat in sugar. Wanting to be a journalist is a form of mental illness, only an idiot would put themselves through the barrage of physical and verbal abuse that goes on in this business, BUT that is what makes it all the more exciting!

We were told that no-one would understand why we wanted to be journalists; why we had to keep our phones on 24 hours a day and why we have to run from the Christmas dinner table to take an important phone call, but It is the same as me not understand why someone would become a dentist or a forensic scientist. I wouldn't judge someone for wanting to do these things but doesn't make them wrong for wanting to do it.

"Find the balance between Human and Bastard and DON'T BE A TWAT"

The best way to deal with the barrage of abuse you will face is to know that you haven't done anything wrong. Basically if you have gone about a contentious story in a moral way, no matter how hard it is at the time, then you have nothing to worry about when it comes to criticism (Hopefully)

So, this is what happened at lunchtime today, I sat and took copious amounts of notes because 'Fleet Street Fox' made me think that most things are possible and that you just need to shut up, stop being so arrogant and do what you have to do. No one cares if you have an ego the size of a whale, if you show that to a reader they won't read you again. GET ON WITH IT AND STOP TELLING PEOPLE HOW BRILLIANT YOU THINK YOU ARE BECAUSE NOBODY CARES.

-IF YOU WANT SOMETHING ENOUGH AND YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGHT FOR IT YOU WILL GET IT-

I then went home and bought her book, because I love a good scandal.

Two Weeks in and I am a terrible blogger!

Friends and foes I must apologise for my lack of human-ness over the past two weeks. As it turns out becoming a journalist is very very time consuming.

I am enjoying this course so much but I haven't really had the time to explain it. It may be a dangerous thing to say but (whisper it...) I am actually enjoying shorthand, it is exhausting and frustrating and it makes you laugh because it sometimes seems too ridiculous, but when I can see how much I have already achieved it makes it a little bit more exciting!

PA and Law are very heavy subjects but really interesting at the same time and all the tutors are brilliant. All very funny and full of experience and enthusiasm, which is always a good thing.

I am in Group Two or Frost after the late and great Sir David Frost which is the name we gave ourselves. We are apparently the "Rowdy" class but I prefer the word "Curious" as we are only questioning the things we don't understand.

My Day.
I wake up at six o'clock, yes I said six. I'm not great at sleeping as it goes but six o'clock has been a bit of a struggle.
I get the train at about 730, read the metro
Catch a bus
9-1 Will be one of our subjects
2-5 will be another
I get home at 630 (If I am lucky)
I have dinner and then spend the rest of the evening practicing shorthand, reading law, public affairs and ethics or hunting out stories from my 'Patch' which is central Brighton.

I have a few ideas, which I am going to attend to in the next two weeks

so thats that.




In other news...The new iPhone software has majorly slowed my already slow phone down, I had to restore my phone in the process of updating it and it took me two hours to do so...

I'm 5 years old again...

This is it. This is the final weekend before I start my Journalism course which is scary in itself but now it's here. I basically feel like I am starting school again, new people, new stationary, new clothes. I know all the people are lovely, I've said that before but people are scary, I need to get a grip I know but it is all unknown territory at the moment...Who am I kidding this dang shorthand has me losing sleep, I can deal with people as we all do on a daily basis but this shorthand. Shorthand. SHORTHAND. What if I don't learn it in the time and I am the only one who fails? What happens if I get tonsillitis and lose valuable time and get behind? Actually I've already decided that contaminating my fellow students with tonsillitis is something I may have to do just so I don't get behind on the shorthand (Sorry)...I'm sure it will all be fine BUT there is always that little tiny voice that is actually like a tannoy in your head saying "You do know that this is going to be tough" "You do know that the Shorthand exam is out to make you fail?" Am I just hearing voices? If so Shorthand is the least of my worries...It will all be fine!

So...I have a secret but don't want you all to think i'm not serious about the course itself...You ready?

I've spent a lot of money this summer all on things 'For my Journalism Course'. Obviously I think people will totally believe that this is why a lot of the money I've earned this summer has been spent on a new coat, it is definitely going to be cold in the morning and evening, and I'll be travelling so I definitely don't want to be cold, Right? I bought a 'serious' bag, it is smart but casual, a pair of 'Professional' shoes with an ultra sensible heel for those rushed moments in life, and last but certainly not least I bought 'The' dress, the dress that means I am ready to take on the world, I'm ready to do that interview, ready to work into the evening on a new Breaking story all to be ready to go to print. It all sounds very exciting doesn't it? But you see these "things" are all very important to the rest of my life, it sounds very dramatic but it's not. You see all these insignificant yet terribly significant details will add to the experience, they will round things off, make you feel more comfortable and therefore less likely to shuffle and squirm in uncomfortable silences.

Anyway the real fun will be getting on all the right forms of public transport Monday morning, never mind about the actual course yet, this comes first.

NCTJ Excitement and Fears.

We need a new word; One that explains an excessive amount of excitement running along side a vein of nerves. I suppose there could be a word already to explain this, I just haven't read my dictionary thoroughly enough!

So...Today I received the lovely surprise of my 'Journalist Works Journalist Instructions'. I thought because of this it would be wholly appropriate to voice some fears and some reasons why I am so excited.

Understandable Nerves...Enthusiastic Excitement...
-New People. This scares and excites me. I've spoken to a lot to the people on my course and we all seem to be on the same wave length, which is encouraging and will make the course a really good experience for us all because we all want roughly the same outcome.

-100wpm ... Shorthand. This is something that everyone will talk about in their blogs over the next few weeks. I will probably want to cry/throw things/laugh in the face of shorthand, but reading about other peoples experiences it is all about practice, like everything else in life, so this makes me a little optimistic (Yes Emily just used the word optimistic)

-14 Weeks of 9am-5:30pm days. This is one of the things that I am genuinely looking forward too, Yes I can hear you all saying "Oh how sweet, she really has not got a clue" I know I don't but let me go into it guns blazing and then you can say I told you so when I kick a bin for no reason.  I was reading the main 'advice' on the Brighton Journalist Works Blog and it basically says..."Forget about any life you might have had before the course, forget about the television, forget you have friends" Well that's how I read it anyway. But I am ready to immerse myself into the "Adult World" I am bored at the moment, I want to be working and proving myself.

-Exams. No-one likes them, I have never been very good at them, this is going to be interesting!

Leaps and Bounds.

I spoke the other day about not knowing what to write about, and I think the problem has been that I've been trying to write about things I don't really have a lot of feelings for, how can I write about something I don't care about? So I sat and I thought, and then I thought some more and watched 2Point4 Children (I love that, I dedicate a lot of my time to programmes made at the beginning of the 1990's) then I came to a conclusion about a person in my life that isn't doing any good to my health and mental wellbeing, she is someone I need to get away from. Now, this then sparked me to LOOK more, look and take a proper interest in other peoples suggestions and conversations. It is hard to ween yourself away from a friendship that has always been a convenient friendship, nothing more. ANYWAY, I came to this conclusion and even though they have no connection whatsoever things started to happen, a beautifully lovely friend of mine put me in touch with a handful of people who said they would be happy to read my play (We'll get onto that later) and give me genuine feedback. I am not even slightly a fan of positive feedback, if I have done something wrong or something needs changing TELL ME, no matter what you might think I won't take it personally, I want to hear what I can do to improve it. After this I was on twitter and a writer whom I enjoy posted a link to a Journalism Awardy thingymajiggy, this made me happy because I have Two weeks until my Journalism Course begins and this just made me even more excited to start it. And last but not least I changed the name of one of the main characters in my play, this sounds insignificant but it really couldn't be anymore -Significant. I couldn't understand his character, which sounds odd because I created him in the first place, but he wasn't making sense and it all felt wrong and then I wanted to throw it all into a pond, BUT I changed his name and SUDDENLY HE WAS THERE, standing, watching, it was a lovely moment for my sanity.

And so, to get to the point of this post, I've written a play and so instead of writing about what I did on my holidays this year, which I don't really want to write about and you don't want to read about, I think a documented journey through the life of an aspiring Playwright could be equally heartbreaking and amusing at the same time (A perfect combination)

At the moment the ending on my play is causing me major distress, I like things to happen when I say they should happen and this is rebelling. It's making me pull faces like this...No emotion, the ending is causing sad moments like this where I just sit, that's all just sit.

 Now instead of procrastinating and not writing this damn ending, I am actually going to go and try and write something, even if it means sitting in the airing cupboard (again) or trying to balance on my head against my wardrobe, which might have been a mistake last time BUT I have a good feeling about it this time.




Have a Happy and Joy filled Bank Holiday Monday!

<3

Old Friends, New Inspiration.

It has just been one of those evenings ladies and gents. You know the kind I am talking about, bright and happy again instead of isolated and sad.

I am in an uninspired rut, it may not make sense as a phrase but it seems to work I suppose. It isn't fun which means I haven't been very fun, as too many people can testify to unfortunately.
Tonight made things that little bit better though. I opened up a little bit to my mummy as to why I have been such a horrible daughter and I tried to start building bridges but actually admitting that I was very very wrong, which really is not an easy thing to do if you are stubborn, and sometimes (Only sometimes) I can be stubborn and really piss people off. I don't do it on purpose, apparently I test people a lot, which I do, I have to check things...


ANYWAY blah blah blah... I read an old friends blog completely by accident this evening and it re-inspired me to write again. I haven't wanted to even touch my notebook for the past few weeks it jus felt acidic, I really hope at least one person understands what I mean...Her blog is beautiful and I really would recommend you read it, although I should ask her first before I start posting things. This person was a reaaaalllyyyy good friend of mine at School, we spoke about all the people we mutually disliked and shared stories about the boys we were texting at the time, but like most things people move onwards and upwards and everyone starts moving into different spheres.

She wrote about a 30 Day Challenge and because I am so bogged down in making this blog good I just haven't written anything so this could be the perfect reason to stop making excuses. Tomorrow is a new day and I might as well make the most of it, so I am taking a trip to IKEA, I mean where else is better to start again? Exactly.

So tomorrow...DAY ONE is 10 Random facts about myself. I might have to customise it slightly but we will just have to wait and see won't we...

Over and Out pretty humans.

People.

A post about those we don't actually know.

People are brilliant, we see them everyday, we exchange pleasantries and sometimes we share jokes; private jokes that only we shall ever know about.

Some people/most people are great until you actually meet them and realise that they are not the idea of perfection that you thought before they went and opened their mouths.

On a daily basis, depending on where I am, I fall in "Love" with at least three strangers. Yes I did use the word Love, although it's not real love but I have no other word to replace it with. The boy writing in a notebook on the train...The weird man who sparks up a conversation with you about how the lottery is corrupting us and the little girl who wants to be your best friend, shall i go on? Ok. Fictional Characters? Anyway these are the moments that make our days better. Yet, on the other hand there are those you wouldn't want to talk to because you know the magic will be lost when you realise who they REALLY are, they could be Killers, Morris Dancers (Not that I have anything against you), or worse...just plain mean.

I want you to be kind and considerate, take genuine interest in someone other than yourself...
I want you to start a Grease 2 fan club with me...
I want you to be MY BEST FRIEND YOU JUST LOOK SO FRIEND-LIKE...WE COULD BE FRIENDS! PLEASE...

...But I like the fact that I can live in a dream world, in my head, without anyone knowing.

Dream vs. Reality. A lovely mixture of the two...

The Quest to Become a Journalist.

Last year I went to the Edinburgh Fringe for the first time, began to move away emotionally and physically from home and went to University in London.

One year on...I have decided that University really isn't the place for me, been back to Edinburgh on my own and decided to embark on an NCTJ Diploma starting this September. I am genuinely so excited about this course, but the more excited I get the more nervous I become.

It is 14 weeks starting in September and it is going to be Intense. Really intense. This is where the nerves start kicking in. On one hand this is what I have been looking for but on the other hand, I haven't done anything for a year, University was anything but exciting so this is going to be...different.

I have learnt my Shorthand Alphabet and bought myself a 'Serious' Jumper for when September hits, it is all about the experience and making a good impression, so I am swatting up and doing as much research as I possibly can.

Why Am I doing this course?

I want to write. This is the big one really, Writing is what I do, some people have music, some can become doctors, but for me it will always be writing, it just takes over.

I am terribly nosy...I like to know EVERYTHING, what is going on? How has that happened? Why did it happen? You can tell me, I am really good at keeping secrets...I promise!

I love a challenge, Proving myself. Proving that even though I could never be a doctor (I have a strong, strong aversion to blood) I can still make something of myself.

This blog is therefore going to document my quest into becoming a Journalist.

Happy Jumper Buying.





emily.