I'm 5 years old again...

This is it. This is the final weekend before I start my Journalism course which is scary in itself but now it's here. I basically feel like I am starting school again, new people, new stationary, new clothes. I know all the people are lovely, I've said that before but people are scary, I need to get a grip I know but it is all unknown territory at the moment...Who am I kidding this dang shorthand has me losing sleep, I can deal with people as we all do on a daily basis but this shorthand. Shorthand. SHORTHAND. What if I don't learn it in the time and I am the only one who fails? What happens if I get tonsillitis and lose valuable time and get behind? Actually I've already decided that contaminating my fellow students with tonsillitis is something I may have to do just so I don't get behind on the shorthand (Sorry)...I'm sure it will all be fine BUT there is always that little tiny voice that is actually like a tannoy in your head saying "You do know that this is going to be tough" "You do know that the Shorthand exam is out to make you fail?" Am I just hearing voices? If so Shorthand is the least of my worries...It will all be fine!

So...I have a secret but don't want you all to think i'm not serious about the course itself...You ready?

I've spent a lot of money this summer all on things 'For my Journalism Course'. Obviously I think people will totally believe that this is why a lot of the money I've earned this summer has been spent on a new coat, it is definitely going to be cold in the morning and evening, and I'll be travelling so I definitely don't want to be cold, Right? I bought a 'serious' bag, it is smart but casual, a pair of 'Professional' shoes with an ultra sensible heel for those rushed moments in life, and last but certainly not least I bought 'The' dress, the dress that means I am ready to take on the world, I'm ready to do that interview, ready to work into the evening on a new Breaking story all to be ready to go to print. It all sounds very exciting doesn't it? But you see these "things" are all very important to the rest of my life, it sounds very dramatic but it's not. You see all these insignificant yet terribly significant details will add to the experience, they will round things off, make you feel more comfortable and therefore less likely to shuffle and squirm in uncomfortable silences.

Anyway the real fun will be getting on all the right forms of public transport Monday morning, never mind about the actual course yet, this comes first.

Leaps and Bounds.

I spoke the other day about not knowing what to write about, and I think the problem has been that I've been trying to write about things I don't really have a lot of feelings for, how can I write about something I don't care about? So I sat and I thought, and then I thought some more and watched 2Point4 Children (I love that, I dedicate a lot of my time to programmes made at the beginning of the 1990's) then I came to a conclusion about a person in my life that isn't doing any good to my health and mental wellbeing, she is someone I need to get away from. Now, this then sparked me to LOOK more, look and take a proper interest in other peoples suggestions and conversations. It is hard to ween yourself away from a friendship that has always been a convenient friendship, nothing more. ANYWAY, I came to this conclusion and even though they have no connection whatsoever things started to happen, a beautifully lovely friend of mine put me in touch with a handful of people who said they would be happy to read my play (We'll get onto that later) and give me genuine feedback. I am not even slightly a fan of positive feedback, if I have done something wrong or something needs changing TELL ME, no matter what you might think I won't take it personally, I want to hear what I can do to improve it. After this I was on twitter and a writer whom I enjoy posted a link to a Journalism Awardy thingymajiggy, this made me happy because I have Two weeks until my Journalism Course begins and this just made me even more excited to start it. And last but not least I changed the name of one of the main characters in my play, this sounds insignificant but it really couldn't be anymore -Significant. I couldn't understand his character, which sounds odd because I created him in the first place, but he wasn't making sense and it all felt wrong and then I wanted to throw it all into a pond, BUT I changed his name and SUDDENLY HE WAS THERE, standing, watching, it was a lovely moment for my sanity.

And so, to get to the point of this post, I've written a play and so instead of writing about what I did on my holidays this year, which I don't really want to write about and you don't want to read about, I think a documented journey through the life of an aspiring Playwright could be equally heartbreaking and amusing at the same time (A perfect combination)

At the moment the ending on my play is causing me major distress, I like things to happen when I say they should happen and this is rebelling. It's making me pull faces like this...No emotion, the ending is causing sad moments like this where I just sit, that's all just sit.

 Now instead of procrastinating and not writing this damn ending, I am actually going to go and try and write something, even if it means sitting in the airing cupboard (again) or trying to balance on my head against my wardrobe, which might have been a mistake last time BUT I have a good feeling about it this time.




Have a Happy and Joy filled Bank Holiday Monday!

<3

Old Friends, New Inspiration.

It has just been one of those evenings ladies and gents. You know the kind I am talking about, bright and happy again instead of isolated and sad.

I am in an uninspired rut, it may not make sense as a phrase but it seems to work I suppose. It isn't fun which means I haven't been very fun, as too many people can testify to unfortunately.
Tonight made things that little bit better though. I opened up a little bit to my mummy as to why I have been such a horrible daughter and I tried to start building bridges but actually admitting that I was very very wrong, which really is not an easy thing to do if you are stubborn, and sometimes (Only sometimes) I can be stubborn and really piss people off. I don't do it on purpose, apparently I test people a lot, which I do, I have to check things...


ANYWAY blah blah blah... I read an old friends blog completely by accident this evening and it re-inspired me to write again. I haven't wanted to even touch my notebook for the past few weeks it jus felt acidic, I really hope at least one person understands what I mean...Her blog is beautiful and I really would recommend you read it, although I should ask her first before I start posting things. This person was a reaaaalllyyyy good friend of mine at School, we spoke about all the people we mutually disliked and shared stories about the boys we were texting at the time, but like most things people move onwards and upwards and everyone starts moving into different spheres.

She wrote about a 30 Day Challenge and because I am so bogged down in making this blog good I just haven't written anything so this could be the perfect reason to stop making excuses. Tomorrow is a new day and I might as well make the most of it, so I am taking a trip to IKEA, I mean where else is better to start again? Exactly.

So tomorrow...DAY ONE is 10 Random facts about myself. I might have to customise it slightly but we will just have to wait and see won't we...

Over and Out pretty humans.

People.

A post about those we don't actually know.

People are brilliant, we see them everyday, we exchange pleasantries and sometimes we share jokes; private jokes that only we shall ever know about.

Some people/most people are great until you actually meet them and realise that they are not the idea of perfection that you thought before they went and opened their mouths.

On a daily basis, depending on where I am, I fall in "Love" with at least three strangers. Yes I did use the word Love, although it's not real love but I have no other word to replace it with. The boy writing in a notebook on the train...The weird man who sparks up a conversation with you about how the lottery is corrupting us and the little girl who wants to be your best friend, shall i go on? Ok. Fictional Characters? Anyway these are the moments that make our days better. Yet, on the other hand there are those you wouldn't want to talk to because you know the magic will be lost when you realise who they REALLY are, they could be Killers, Morris Dancers (Not that I have anything against you), or worse...just plain mean.

I want you to be kind and considerate, take genuine interest in someone other than yourself...
I want you to start a Grease 2 fan club with me...
I want you to be MY BEST FRIEND YOU JUST LOOK SO FRIEND-LIKE...WE COULD BE FRIENDS! PLEASE...

...But I like the fact that I can live in a dream world, in my head, without anyone knowing.

Dream vs. Reality. A lovely mixture of the two...

Doreen.

I met a lady today, her name was Doreen.
Doreen from the Isle of Wight.
She kept apologising for talking too much.
I told her that I really didn't mind.
And I didn't.
I like talking to people.
She was really very lovely.
Her son is lazy and her sons Father is far away.
She is on holiday to have a break from him.
They had an argument. Some things were said and
she hopes he has changed by the time she gets home.
A historian. She works in her local church and
patches distant families together.
I helped her find her connecting train and she said she was grateful.
Doreen was her name.
Doreen from the Isle of Wight.